Live blogging, in retrospect.

A collection of what would have been Facebook updates and tweets over the course of my family wedding/vacation/in-law med school graduation.... Had I not been either out of cell service or at occasions unsuitable to tweeting the entire time.

-Flying west bound is a mixed blessing. The trip takes an extra hour but you do get to enjoy a three hour sunset.

-I'm torn. On the one hand, the serenity of my oceanside reading was broken by a loud raucous group of people. On the other hand.... It's my family, so what are you gonna do?

-Wait, so you're crying because you're brother has to wear a tuxedo and stand around greeting strangers while you Don't? #kids #wtf

-Watching the kids table at a large family gathering is like watching a
cross between a senate sub committee meeting and an episode of
survivor. Politics, politics, politics.

-It's ok little dude. If someone tried to give me halibut instead of steak I'd cry too.




-Three times in 5 months is enough. I'm done with neckties till 2012 so nobody get married or die, please.

-Everytime I go through Canadian border customs I feel like I just got busted passing notes in class. My wife's expired passport might have something to do with this.

-Ok, first off. He obviously didn't send it. From his public twitter account. That's retarded. Secondly, good for him, that's pretty big. Third, what he and his wife choose to take pictures of is none of our damn business.




-Photo bombing nature!(my wife hates me)

-A mint julep is not a mojito with bourbon instead of rum. Gross, just... Gross.

-I'm sure the desired effect of skiing down a mountain in a full gingerbread man costume is to weird me out, but I'm honestly too busy being impressed.




-Bomb

-Maybe I've been in NYC too long, but after a point I begin to doubt the sincerity of your pleasantries and wonder what your angle is. I'm sure this me just being an asshole but... My trip to the village was fine, the meal was great, why do you care what I had for dessert?

My wife will kill me for this




-Good morning lake, good morning mountain. Good morning biker seeing me on the balcony in my underwear with a camera.

-I am convinced the entire town of Whistler, B.C. is populated by Australian teenagers. Except the mayor, who I'm betting is Crocodile Dundee.




-Gondola to the peak? Ok, fine.



-Gondola's are serious business



-Totally worth it!



-Cross mountain Peak to Peak Gondola? Fuck everything about that.

-Sure, you might get mauled by a bear, but at least up here it will be a polite bear.

Seriously

-I might be an American, but I'm a New Yorker first. Screw Boston, Go Canucks!

-We ate at one of the top ten restaurants in British Columbia(it's in our hotel). We were the only people in the restaurant the WHOLE NIGHT. Pampered, but creepy.

-Three days later and Everyone in this hotel knows the mint mojulephito saga. Every. One. I swear to god we are the only people here. It's the like The Shining, only polite.

Ok, just tired now...

-Everytime I go through an American border customs I feel like a terrorist. Probably because I'm a liberal.

-Grungster: A sub species of hipster, primarily located in the west
coast. Easily identified by their mixture of standard hipster fashion
and an unironic love of plaid, doc martins, and faded miltary
outerwear.

-5 star restaurant. The ambient pianist has been playing rock classics from the 90s all night. Smashing Pumpkins, Foo Fighters, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden. All done elegantly and brilliantly. #YouKnowYou'reInSeattleWhen...

-Low ceilings plus carpeted floors plus flaming dessert drink served via flaming ladel waterfall seems like it's asking for trouble.

-Really, dude? Show up to a two hour graduation ceremony completely baked?

-Of course totally baked dude is here to root on the only guy amongst the 200 graduates wearing a t-shirt and flip flops...

-"Remember, after this even the lowest grade gets to be called Doctor", my
wife leans over and whispers to me, as we watch 200+ soon to be M.D.s
attempt, and fail, to collectively go from standing in front of chairs to sitting
in them.

-Totally baked dude right in front of me keeps giving uncomfortably long back rubs to the father of the guy they're here to watch.

-flip flop t shirt guy is a triple PH.D neurosurgeon going to Stanford. Mental note, NO BRAIN SURGERY IN CALIFORNIA.

-Being an urban planner in Seattle must be a nightmare. "so the streets are all one lane, but both ways, with three cul de sacs back to back to back, all with only street parking. Oh, and it's all built on a hill with a 9 degree grade. With a four lane highway plus HOV lanes running through/under it.

-Dear Stanley Cup color commentator. Are you color blind, or did you take LSD before getting dressed? Seriously.


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